Thursday, July 16, 2009

Gettin' my Walmart on.

I have two great stories to share with you today, both made possible by my local Walmart.

1. My mom was shopping there a few days ago, as she often does, and brought her cart filled with Wally's goodness to a checkout station. She shops there frequently enough to know who is pleasant and who is to be avoided in the checkout line, but her regular people were not available so she tried a new associate.

"Can you bag your stuff?" this associate asked her.
Taken aback, my mom tried to make light of it and said something along the lines of "Oh, I'm too old!" and laughed.

The associate stared her down and said, "You expect me to scan AND bag????"

So my mom resisted the temptation to respond like this: "I am sorry that you have made a succession of possibly not very intelligent decisions that have brought you to this place, working a minimum wage job for the largest retailer in the world. I am sorry that the idea of actually doing your job is distressing to you. I am sorry that you are not happy in your vocation. The physical set up of the checkouts at this fine establishment actually makes it impossible for me to do what you are asking, as you would have to scan the item and then hand it over the belt to me where I would then have to place it in a plastic bag on your side of the register.

So yes, I do expect you to scan AND bag."

2. My friend Tom was at Walmart the other day, getting a quick change on a flat tire. While he was waiting, he bought a few packs of gum and was checked out by a young man covered in tattoos- one on his arm displayed his own name, the other arm showing off someone else's- who was rather sullen and withdrawn and perhaps also dissatisfied with his lot in life.

After scanning the gum, as Tom was paying, the associate mumbled to Tom:

"Looks like you're gettin' your chew on."

I love Walmart.


Anonymous said...

I was THERE and still you made it funny to me! I surely was taken aback when he said that to me! I seriously did not know if he was serious (he WAS) so I thought I would make a joke about being old instead of getting huffy which was my first instinct-see, I AM growing up! Mommy

Anonymous said...

You make me want to rush right out to Wally's for some unbeatable entertainment and psychological case studies. Sad to say, I NEVER encounter such fun stuff....which leaves me to wonder if it's a geographically specific phenomenon! To do a valid scientific study, you guys would need to come down and shop here so the variables would remain the same! Which strikes me as an EXCELLENT idea! Love, LW