So Jenna, who is in love with my boobs, is watching me get dressed the other day. Though I try to turn away from her, giving myself as much privacy as a Mom can muster, she circles around me like a lioness on the prowl and stares at my chest.
"Mom... why are your boobs so bid (big)?" she asks me.
"Well," I tell her, trying desperately to pull some clothing on, "when mommies are growing babies in their bellies, sometimes their boobs grow, too."
"Do your bibs (Jenna's word for bra) still fit?"
"Uhh, yes, Jen. They still fit. My boobs aren't that much bigger." (I begin to become incredulous that I am having this conversation about boobs- particularly my boobs- with my three year old.)
Jenna continues staring, obviously giving this lots of thoughtful consideration.
"Well, I think your bibs are too small. You need bidder bibs."
Yeah, okay, Jenna... you and I can go wisk off to Victoria's Secret and pick me up a few bidder bibs. We'll get right on that.
"So where are your bibs?" I ask her.
"What? I don't have bibs! I don't have boobs!"
"Well, you will when you get bigger... they'll grow just like Mommy's."
"Oh, Mommy... THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Jenna says to me, laughing with how PREPOSTEROUS that is, like I've just told her her hair will turn green and she'll grow extra limbs.