Random Crap: Friday Edition

Here are a couple of odds and ends stories floating around my brain from the last few days.

Jenna used her first curse word the other day, and Dan and I were impressed that she used it correctly. I had gone grocery shopping in the evening and when I returned home, I showed the girls I had bought their favorite treat du jour, Cheese Balls. (I really resist buying this for them and then I realized they are about 98% air, so a bowlful really is only about 6 grams of actual food substance.) Anyway. I held up the bag to show Jenna, who was in her pj's and moments away from brushing her teeth and going to bed. "Can I have some?" she asked.

"No. You can have some tomorrow. Go brush your teeth. It's time for bed." (See previous post about how I am the Meanest Mom People Have Ever Witnessed.)

Jenna turns on her heels and with quite a bit of vehemence says, "Dammit!!!" as she walks towards the bathroom.

Of course Dan and I told her that was not a nice word to say, but it was certainly one of our less- harsh rebuttals of behavior. Because we were desperately trying not to laugh.



Michaela lost a tooth yesterday! It is her fifth tooth out and it was a relief because it has been so loose it has impeded her eating and teeth-brushing. The Tooth Fairy came last night and brought her $2, which appears to be the going rate around here. She looks very cute with another hole in her mouth.



I finished up a dense, rich, very good book called Drop City by T.C. Boyle. My aunt recommended it and for the first 15 pages I was really struggling with his style and the content of the book. The book takes place in 1970 on a hippie commune in California. Their 'leader', who is supplying most of the cash they are living off of, gets chased off the land by the government for code violations and back taxes. They decide to head north to Alaska where the leader's uncle has some land he is no longer using. Of course they are completely ill-equipped to live in the secluded Alaskan wild, let alone survive a harsh winter there. The book follows the members of the commune, focusing on three characters there, as they adjust to communal living and the big move North. The author portrays them as real people, with needs and utterly human characteristics of selfishness, laziness, and possessiveness that clearly go against the whole "peace, love, and brotherhood, man" vibe of the commune. It becomes kind of funny as they all realize what a filthy, unsafe and boring existence they are leading which could literally kill them in Alaska.

The side effects of reading the book are twofold: 1) I have never been so glad that my husband works for The Man and we live a completely proletariat/ privileged (and sanitary) life, especially while being pregnant, and 2) I have started to refer to all men as "cool cats."

In any case, it's a very thought-provoking book and I recommend it just for the realistic portrayal of hippie life, which I was sort of obsessed with as a middle schooler, but obviously never came even close to experiencing.

Well, except in high school drama club... that was pretty hippie-ish.

Vindication at last.

When Jenna was a baby, shopping was a real chore since 98% of the time she was screaming by the end of the trip. Grocery stores, department stores, discount stores... it didn't matter the locale: we would hit the checkout and she would be crying and carrying on. I believe I blogged about the "helpful hints" I've received over the years from checkout personnel, many who were missing front teeth. I knew that Jenna was tired, overwhelmed by the store, overstimulated by the lights and sounds and noise and just wanted me to nurse her (and I have, I will tell you, nursed her in the shoe section of Walmart. Right there, sitting on the floor, surrounded by inexpensive men's workboots and rows upon rows of fake-leather shoes shipped directly from China).

So one young check out girl in particular in Walmart commented that I was "the meanest mom she's ever seen". And this has stuck with me for the last three years or so. I am amazed that with all of the parenting styles that are on display in the checkout line of Walmart, I would somehow rank as Meanest. I mean, sure, sometimes I'm not as structured as I'd like, or I let my kids eat Swedish Fish before noon or give in to to an occasional toy request. That I can own. But Meanest? I have pondered that quietly in my heart.

Imagine my delight- and horror- as I read this story in my local paper on Tuesday about a mom in Tennessee who definitely ranks as Meaner than Me. The sense of vindication was amazing.

Here's the story:

"Police have charged a woman who they say used a car seat with an infant inside to

hit a Wal-Mart employee.

...Camilla Fields of Memphis was charged with felony child abuse and neglect and assault.

A police report from the Wednesday incident says Fields was confronted by a security guard about shoplifting. Police say she threw the seat and ran, causing the baby to land face down on the pavement. A paramedic treated the baby until the child regained consciousness.

The child's mother, Stacy Cleaves, was also charged with false reporting and child neglect."

This felt so good because not only have I never thrown my child at someone in an attempt to distract them from accusing me of shoplifting, which I have also never done, I can say with confidence that I have made friends with women of such a high caliber that NONE OF THEM would throw my infant in a car seat in an attempt to distract a security guard from accusing them of shoplifting. It's a good feeling.

So take that, young checkout girl at my local Wal-Mart from three and a half years ago! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Victory is MINE!

Blankets for REAL babies.

I made a bunch of blankets for Michaela's stuffed animals and Jenna's baby dolls for Christmas and had a blast... all straight seams, quite hard to mess up completely. They've been a big hit and so when I found out I was pregnant, I decided I would make blankets for the baby as well.

So I hit the fabric store the other day and picked up this lusciousness.

Can you tell I am using a blue and chocolate brown theme? There's so much of it around that I have lots of options. I bought both solid blue and solid brown flannel for softness, patterns in a smooth cotton, and I splurged and bought a whole yard of the minky-soft light blue with the raised dots for $13/ yard. Whoo-hoo... I KNOW how to party.

Not sure exactly when I'll get to this sewing... so many other projects to get to. My organizing is going well thus far... I've made good progress and will show pictures when I'm done.

Enjoy the day!

Twins for a day.

The girls decided to wear the same outfit and both wear pigtails yesterday. Very cute.

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Check Ups.

So Jenna had her 4-year-old check up today at the pediatrician's and everything checked out fine. She is healthy and happy and normal, which I think is just about what every parent wants to hear.

The only item of note was her height, which is 41.5 inches, placing her in the 80th percentile. And the fact that she grew FOUR INCHES in the last year. "That's pretty... impressive," her doctor says to me, eyebrows raised. It is not surprising that she would be in the upper percentiles- I am 5'6" and taller than most of my friends and Dan is about 6'4"- but four inches?? She started out so tiny- at 2 years old she was in the 5th percentile- and just has gone into overdrive. Her doctor asked me twice, "What does she eat?" and I just said the truth: she's generally a great eater, and she eats lots of variety of foods. "Apparently it works," he said.

She also had the joy of experiencing vaccination shots for chicken pox, measles, mumps and rubella and let me tell you: she did not buy the whole the shots have medicine that will keep you healthy routine. She was a trooper, though, and made it through just fine, declaring them "sharp".

The nurse who gave her the shots told her she doesn't have to get any more shots until she's ten(which isn't really true- the girls both get flu shots in the fall), so now she's been asking me all afternoon:"How long is it until I'm ten?"