Sunday, April 4, 2010

A letter to the Easter Bunny.

Date: Easter Sunday, 2010
To: Mr. Easter Bunny (aka Cottontail, Peter)
3647 Bunny Trail

Re: Easter Baskets, 2010

Dear Mr. Bunny:

It has come to my attention by my eight year old daughter, Michaela, that you may have chosen our home to be "the last one of the night" that you visited. This was determined by said eight year old by the relatively weak contents (her words, not mine) of her Easter basket: (1) DVD of Alvin and the Chipmunks Squeakquel; (1) small-sized Russell Stover bunny rabbit, chocolate, and (7) M&M funsize packets, which she has declared that "I don't even really like."

Mr. Bunny, this is unacceptable.

We left out carrots AND ranch dip for you on our hallway table.

Everyone is aware that though Easter is actually a religious holiday that our family embraces for its holy meaning, it is clearly an opportunity to celebrate Christmas-type gift giving in April. Yes, the DVD was a nice touch, but really: no other gifts? No stuffed animals? No large chocolate rabbits? No clothing, jewelry, dolls, books, pajamas, art supplies, etc?

At least you could have brought candy that my daughter actually likes. Sure, she has several thousand dollars worth of orthodontic work in her mouth right now that limit what she can eat, but come on. Throw the kid a bone here. Or at least a peanut butter cup.

It's bad enough that her mother spent the last few weeks running around, planning and packing for five people to travel halfway across the country and back, coordinated Easter five outfits, wrote out and sent Easter cards, and attended six weeks worth of Lenten church services, all while caring for a six month old, four year old, and eight year old while also keeping the house clean and neat in case a potential buyer came along. (Rumor has it that she was crawling up in the attic at 10pm on Saturday, looking for the Easter baskets that you should have filled more generously.) We depend on you, Mr. Bunny, to pick up the slack here and a modest basket just isn't going to cut it.

Please contact your schedulers to move our house up on the list for next year. We will refrain from any further action this year, though it was disappointing, but you leave us no choice should this weak showing occur again next year.

Cheryl Libutti


Claudia said...


This is SO funny! I can imagine the scene when your soon-to-be attorney Michaela declares what has gone wrong this Easter and why this could have been the case (last house to be visited). It's sometimes tough to be a mom, but you are doing a good job!


Anonymous said...

Cheryl-it is obvious that the Easter Bunny KNOWS that Michaela and Jenna are totally deprived and NEED more clothes, stuffed animals, toys, and candy! What was he thinking making YOUR house his last stop?? The injustice of it all! Love, Mommy

Anonymous said...

Every experienced Mom has known the disaster of unfulfilled expectations.....I'm glad you seem to be taking this with the grain of salt and humor it deserves! I remember one particularly disappointing Easter for one of our boys.....he received a stuffed Curious George (he LIKED Curious George!) and sulked the whole day! Love, LW