Starting Over, Again.

2014 is the Year of Catching Up.
Catching my breath.
Catching a break.
Catching a nap.
Catching my sanity.
Catching some moments to remember.

Once again I am back in the blogging saddle after a long time away.  All I will say is that I am finally coming out of several months' time of depression and anxiety that was overwhelming at times.  It was from a bunch of things: my dad's passing and processing the grief, dealing with Alec (and all that comes with him: doctors and evals and therapists and meetings) and a preteen Michaela (and all that comes with her: hormones and finals and lots and lots of energy), making decisions for Alec's placement this fall, and generally not being able to cope with life.  My tank was empty.  And while I was able to go where I needed to go and bathe, feed and dress my kids, there was no more energy or room for anything else.  I was very numb and foggy.  But I am catching my breath and finally finding my way out and feeling better.  The noose of whatever I was going through is finally loosening.

So here I sit at my computer, four days into the new school year for my chicks.  This is a huge reason why I am able to breathe again: six blissful hours of time to myself five.days.per.week.  (Whoever came up with this school thing is a miracle worker.)  All is going well so far for all of them-blog post about that is forthcoming- and I am a busy beaver all day long, processing and sorting and attending to things that I wanted to do since last summer.  Catching up.

I just had a blast looking through old posts of mine, remembering stories of the kids that I had forgotten, seeing pictures of them looking so much smaller, and reading words I wrote that I now have much better insight about.  Some posts I wish I could go back in time to relive, and others I am so profoundly glad I have been through and came out safely out the other side.

It is amazing how time marches on... such a cliché but true.  We are all architects of our lives, designing and building and re-examining a little each day until suddenly years have gone by and you can step back and see what exactly you've been working on.  The rest of this year will be a 'step back and see' time for me as I finally have some time and the ability to be very proud of what I've made and also see what will be next for me.

And finally blog a little bit about it.
I have some great stories to record.