Dreams and Revelations

Two things:
1. I had a dream last night that was sooo interesting (Right away I'm breaking a Cardinal Rule of Interesting Conversations: Your dreams are NEVER interesting to anyone but you. Noone knows what it looked like, noone knows how it felt to dream it, and noone has the same sense of wonder about it because only you saw it. But this was kind of cool and I Promise to keep it brief.) ... I dreamt that I was sleeping and having a dream about being hit on by Justin Timberlake (yes, not even in a REGULAR dream would this happen; only in a dream of a dream. How pathetic.) but then his girlfriend, Jessica Biel, saunters over and breaks the whole thing up. So I wake up from that dream and who am I telling my JT dream to? Kim Kardashian, of the Keeping Up with the Kardashians show on E!! She was quite sympathetic to my plight.

My expert dream analysis has lead me to these two conclusions: A) I watch way too much TV; B) I think my electric blanket is turned up a little too high.

2. I have determined that if I did not get emails about winning foreign lotteries- European AND Asian, thank you very much- growing a male body part larger, finding "Hot Singles in your area!", getting a PayRoll Advance loan, consolidating debt, and buying Canadian pharmacy drugs, I would have a lot more time to spend with my children instead of deleting this ridiculous garbage. And I would only get about three emails a day.

On a related tangent, have you ever seen those hilarious commercials on late at night for talking on the phone with other Hot Singles? The girls in the commercials are so pretty and cute and so obviously not in need of talking anonymously to other lonely people to "have a great time." I can only imagine the foulness of the "conversations" taking place. Yuck.

When I was in college, there was a gentleman's club of ill repute over the border in Canada and they played commercials after 11pm on the weekends.

One of their key tag lines was "Free Hot and Cold Buffet!"

Oh, no, this is not just a table with some crackers, cheese and fruit set out... they have HOT dishes, too... maybe some mozz sticks, chicken wings, maybe even a steaming plate of nachos! Who know what kind of food they serve there! But it's Hot AND Cold!!!

That always struck me as HILARIOUS because clearly people are not going there for the food and a group of middle aged women going out to eat on a Thursday night are not going to be stumped about where to go until one of them remembers: "Wait! I've seen that commercial for Club SuperS*x! They've got a FREE Hot AND Cold Buffet! Let's go there and try it out!"

Or, maybe they're into that sort of thing. I'm not here to judge.